Skid Mark: the plot thickens

I was having a classically bad morning; woke up with a nasty headache, laid back down to try to take the edge off and overslept, couldn't find anything to wear, hair a mess, unable to move faster to make up time--like I said, classic bad morning. I finally got out the door to walk the dog and ran right into Skid Mark who was hanging out in the courtyard of my complex.

"Skid Mark?" (I wish I had called him that). He looks up at me. I wish I could say he looked surprised or alarmed to see me but his expression is preternaturally passive and flat. It's one of the many things that bugs me about him. Maybe he's an alien.

"Oh, hi. I got here kind of early (it was not even 0930-and he was kind of early for the dog's scheduled midday walk) and was catching up on my homework."

Blank expression from me.

"I could just take her now if you want" (I've already noted it was long before midday)

Confused look from me followed by, "Oh no, please go ahead and study. I just didn't expect to see you here, I walked out and thought 'I know that guy!' Kind of threw me off (insert ha ha laughter)"

I returned from our walk and Skid Mark was no where to be found. When I got inside, I saw he had texted me. His message: "Wow, i'm WAY earlier than i thought i was! i'll be back much later-or will you be staying home again today?"

WTF Skid Mark? What is this cat and mouse game we play? Why are you at my place at 0930 in the morning for a midday walk? How can you be that chronologically challenged? Why would you do your homework outside in my courtyard when you have your pick of coffee shops within a half block of my house? I've used the toilets in both, they are clean and have plenty of toilet paper to wrap your meaty fist in. What. the. hell. Also, I have never mistaken 0930 for noon or even 11 or anything close to those times. Were you coming early to work on the locked bathroom door? Are you in love with me Skid Mark? Are you marking my bathroom hoping I'll chose you to mate with?

And yet I still haven't called one of the three alternative pet sitters I researched over the weekend because I dread terminating this service and being asked why and I fear hiring someone who could find me recalling my time with Skid Mark fondly. Isn't this part of the reason people stay in crappy relationships of all stripes? Because they fear there is no trade up? The devil you know is better than the one you don't? Perhaps tomorrow I will take that first step and hope I can find a sitter that isn't just a devil trade but a divine alternative to skid marks, use of my perfume as an air freshener, pilfering of my bags, and all other manner of annoying things I've been less than thrilled with over the past year.