I was talking to Maybe tonight and at the end of our conversation he said he didn't have time to talk about it then but wanted to discuss something next time we talked. He asked me if I wanted to know what he wanted to talk about to prepare for our next conversation. I said sure and then he told me he was concerned about my biological clock.
Yea, I didn't see that coming either.
For the benefit of reader(s) who don't know the tale of Maybe, he has that moniker because though I was quite enamored with him when we first met years ago, he has tendencies that suggest he might be gay. Mid-forties, never married, no kids, 2 cats, one with a P.G. Wodehouse inspired name. My infatuation waned and we are friends now. And I'm sure he's not gay but the name has stuck. He's dating a woman who does not want children and it depresses him. Not because he loves children but because his genetics will not get passed on. He honestly regrets not donating to a sperm bank in his 20's. Really. He has all sorts of incompatible beliefs and mannerisms and yesterday's post notwithstanding, I don't think we would be a good couple because he is the least tactful person I've ever known. The cats alone are a deal breaker since I'm allergic. But I love him because I can tell him he's tactless and it doesn't really bother him. When we talk on the phone and there's a lull in the conversation, I can point it out as a sign we don't have anything else to talk about. When I decided he was dead to me (long story) he did the classic non-apology expressing regret that I felt the way I did but then sent me popcorn from his cat. In many ways it's the most honest relationship I have.
A few months back Maybe and I had what in retrospect must have been a much more serious conversation for him about having children. If I had a child this year, it would be considered a high risk pregnancy because of my maternal age. My mother was done having children by my age. I was thinking out loud about whether I would decide to go it alone. During that conversation, Maybe told me to keep him on the short list of possible sperm donors (I hate even writing that phrase) and even went as far to discuss his level of involvement in our child's life which for the record, he would defer to me. He even mentioned that he would of course set aside money for our child's education even if I did not want him to be involved in their life. He wants to talk more about this later but his parting shot was not to wait too late and at least freeze some eggs. I have no idea what has got into him. The idea of being pregnant and alone is terribly unpleasant to me. But I also thought, what the hell, we all get one ride and having kids is a limited time offer. Would it be weird? Totally. Would my parents love their first and possibly only grandchild? Completely.
So maybe 2010, I have a baby. I've always loved years that are multiples of 5. Just one of the quirky things I can hope to pass on.
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