The kind of person who watches PBS and is seriously considering a membership and tote bag. I am recognizing myself. I am checking myself out in the mirror and choosing to have something good to say. I have been grateful, incoherently grateful for french press coffee, a twin sized furry soft fleece blanket I have co-opted as a throw, and for my wake-up buddy whose 0530 call ensures my eyes will be heavy at 2100.
I have been grateful for my ever willful dog. For forcing me to scream and yell like a crazy lady when she quickly tries to choke some unidentifiable sidewalk contraband down her gullet. For making me reach in for it and continue yelling and commanding her to drop it while she does Lab calculus to determine if she can resist long enough to swallow it whole. I'm grateful that my lab-o-lantern is slowly growing her hair back and that she doesn't have gross stitches to rub against me anymore.
I am grateful for a friend who thinks I should write a series of books and thinks it is a terrific idea for the title of one to be Soul Turds. That one will be dedicated to her.
I am curious why I continue to engage when homeless men talk to me. Last weekend a homeless man asked me if I would marry him if he stopped drinking. I told him that anything is possible. Why would I say that? Why? That's the sort of response that lands a girl on Dateline Mystery. Anything is possible? Really, Ava? That is possible? You and nameless homeless guy who called you the 'n' word last time you saw him? That is possible? All I could do is laugh and check over my shoulder often as I continued on with my walk. I can be so incredibly stupid sometimes. I would like to become someone who does not feel obligated to engage in crazy conversations with homeless men.
Still sorting and working through this blog fast. It's not a writers block, there are volumes being composed in my head. I just haven't figured out where I'm supposed to write them down. I started toting my journal to work and have jotted a note or 2 down there. I feel like I'm looking for a pair of good looking comfortable heels. So, so elusive. So, so fantastic if you find them. I've been getting up at 0530 and have been very resourceful at finding ways to eat away at all the time I should have. Today I watched Steve Wilkos until 8 am. WTF? Yesterday I napped after coffee on the couch in the gratitude provoking fleece throw. I guess this will just be my slug week. Last week I was doing push-ups, yoga, and laundry before work. This week, not so much. Yin and Yang.
3 comments:
Wow, really talking to a homeless guy. I don't even do that, that is pretty scary... Glad she got her stitches out, I hated when my dog (Kaine) had stitches, it is so pitiful.
I love this last paragraph, once again it is as if you have stolen my thoughts so that they could be properly written (except for the heels part, I don't know much about that). It is amazing what when you look back at where the time is gone. Everyday I think about how I have so much spare time after work, and yet I never seem to get anything accomplished during that time. You will pick back up again, I only hope soon. Good luck, cheer up, and let me know if you need someone to pick you up...
And stop talking to the homeless guy...
Ha!--One of your best posts.
Thanks for the comments MP and Lodo. Eye contact gets me every time. I guess it's a combination of living in the midwest and being brought up to acknowledge people as you pass. Everyone else is smart enough not to do it but I beebop along smiling and saying hi to everyone. More people say hi back than don't and most don't end up asking for my hand in marriage or money. But it happens. I've just got to be better about not saying stupid things like 'anything is possible.'
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