Self portraits at unflattering angles

I have a picture of IBC and me taken the weekend he invited me and his friends to his family's cabin in West Virginia.  A few years back he asked for a copy of the picture and I told him I didn't like how I looked in the picture.  His response, 'I know what you look like.'  No matter what the camera said on that day, at that angle, in that light, IBC knew what I looked like to him.  

This blog is a collection of self portraits at mostly unflattering angles.  They are not the best of me or of my experiences.  They are me, but they are like the pictures you take of someone while they are eating or somewhere on the way to a smile, they are on either side of a normal potentially flattering picture but that particular mouth-wide-open moment isn't how they go about their daily life looking.

My life is near perfect as is.  If I am honest, I don't really envy or desire anything my friends have.  I know their lives have their own specific burdens and that each of our lives have very few truly idyllic moments.  I find most of mine are sans people.  Sunsets, sunrises, beautiful moons, autumn foliage, leaves crunching, brisk sunny days, naps in the sun, a burst of creative energy, leaving something good behind, waking up with no pain, a great cup of coffee, having nowhere to be, figuring out something mechanical.

Watching babies or animals sleep or observe the world rates right up there in my idyllic moment index as well.  I could watch Baloo sleep or sniff the air all damn day.  The idyllic moments with people are the happy accidents of life.  The time my girlfriends surprised me with a visit, the marathon lunch I had with a dear friend, screaming tears of laughter with my brother and best friend from college during a time of great sorrow, playing Wii with my Mom and Dad, that random trip to Panera and Best Buy with my Dad where we listened to Coldplay, all the random e-mails and phone messages my Dad sends on a whim when he's thinking about me, my Mom playing with my hair.

This moment, with the sunlight streaming through the blinds and resting on my hands, dog napping with one paw extended on the periphery of my monitor, this is a recipe for a sun nap.  On my date with the married man, we were talking about how we both liked being alone surrounded by people.  It's funny when two people talk about how much they like not being with other people but people who feel that way understand.  I hear the world outside so I know I'm not alone but I'm very glad to be left alone.