Monday, April 9, 2012

Strategic hoe-in(g)/whore-ing

Yea, I don't know what it is either, but it's strategic.  My neighbor, D-dog catches me every now and again while I'm out walking Baloo and laid this gem on me the last two times I saw him.  I saw him with an overnight bag waiting for a ride and asked if he was heading out of town.  Strategic hoe-ing was his response.  I still have no idea what it means but based on our last conversation, I believe it has something to do with him hitting and quitting it.  He has three cars, at least one with out-of-town plates so hoes don't be trying to track a playa down.  I guess that's the strategic part.  Also, much like I do with random dudes and anywhere they plan trying to say my name over an intercom, he goes by his middle name with some people and his first name with others.  Gotta keep your hoes straight, got's to have a system.

D-dog is also almost always reeking of alcohol when I see him and when he isn't, like a few nights ago, he spits on the street compulsively and continuously throughout the conversation like he's trying to get the taste of sobriety out of his mouth.  Maybe it's a Pavlovian anticipation of the drink he's about to have.  I just don't think he realizes how much he's doing it or just how disgusting it is.  This is a guy chatting me up about strategic hoe-ing so he probably thinks I'm down for the spitting since I didn't run away after he started in on the strategy of being or sleeping with women without having to pay them.  Naturally, I have his card now and he wants me to write him.  I think dogs are so used to being shooed away that when you just look at them like they are insane, they figure there might be something to work with. My demeanor scares away decent men and encourages weirdos.


3 comments:

Lodo Grdzak said...

He probably doesn't understand why you're not scared of him; but since you're not, that can only mean you want to sleep with him!

Ah yes, the world of D-dog(s).

Teresa @ good-grace said...

I agree with Lodo Grdzak.
This is a great post .... as "icky" as the dude seems - you've captured the essence of him in 2 short paragraphs. (Hilarious, too! The spitting/sobriety/Pavlovian response... genius.) :)

Lodo Grdzak said...

Got your comment from a few days ago Ava. For some reason it was in my Spam folder; but really appreciate the encouragement and kind words!! Keep up the language lessons--and god luck!