Siblings...

So I'm sitting here trying to decide what tone to take with my sister who is technically a woman but still can't manage to stay out of debt. She owes the bank 44 dollars and they have decided 180 dollars is a fair amount to extort in fees for that 44 dollar overdraft which was done over a series of small purchases, none over 8 dollars. My sister spends money in denial, like a woman insisting on only having half piece of cake 4 or 5 times. She's not making the connection that it doesn't matter if you only put 5 dollars in your tank instead of 25 if you don't have any dollars at all. I have to remind myself that she is 22 even if she is acting like she's 7. I sometimes feel guilty. I'm the good child. Is it too much to compete with? If I became a total fuck up would someone step up? But no, I'm not responsible for her choices, I'm not responsible for how she feels about mine, and being related, I understand what she gives up on everyday she decides to avoid facing her fears, unfinished work, and checking balances. I'm angry at her because she doesn't even put up a fight and succumbs to her basest instincts. I don't know what the right thing to do is. We do what all families do, we oversell modest accomplishments to try to convince ourselves they'll be okay. We bail them out because we don't want to their lives to descend any further We yell, we plead, reason, cajole, snipe. We don't know where and when to apply the various kinds of love (tough, unconditional). We don't know what it will take but we hope it's inconvenient and annoying instead of dangerous or harmful. No one has the energy or time to run her life for her but I wonder if that's what she needs. She'll be here in about 12 hours so I have time to get some sleep, some caffeine, and about an inch of perspective.

Remind me again why I would consider having children given the predilections of my gene pool. *Sigh*