What can you do?

What CAN you do? What can YOU do? No matter what word is emphasized, the bottom line is you can't do anything to make it better. In a perfect world, I would have a wonderful person by my side with the ability to drop their existence to co-opt mine and take everything that isn't this away from me so I could be present mentally and physically. That's what I truly need. I need my sister to wash her damn dishes and pick up so I can steal a little joy from seeing an empty sink or a clean floor. I need her to figure out how to get to Baltimore on her own so my movements aren't tied to hers. I need the house to myself so I can have company if I want. I need work to get less busy, I need my boss to stay so going is a little easier. I need life to slow down so I can catch up and keep up. I wish the guy I thought was the one was here right now, the actual guy sucked but the guy I thought was the one, the one he claimed was the man he wished he was, I wish that guy was here right now. That guy would know what to do right now.