What I would tell me

If you haven't seen it, the premise of this show is to go through a box of the guest's mementos from childhood.  It's interesting, sometimes insightful, and completely relatable as we've all been there.  Most times near the end of the interview the host hands the guest a childhood photo and asks what they would want to tell the kid or young adult in that photo.  I found the clip above to be particularly touching.

I would tell past me nothing.  That girl had to be who she was and struggle with life a little so I could be who I am today.  If you've got halfway decent parents with even an 'nth of perspective, they are telling you the same things the future you would tell you about how there will be other boys, new friends, bigger things, a bigger world than the one you occupy as a child and young adult.  That everything will be ok because everything you are worrying about then will be okay by the time you are 30.  A lot of those things will be ok 30-45 seconds after high school and/or college graduation. That's the moment when you are dipping your first toe into the current that will carry you so rapidly to 35 you'll feel like you were pining to be 25 so you could rent a car on your own the day before yesterday.

I'm not sure I would have made it if I told that girl what was in store.  That girl imagined the fairy tale as her destination; having children, making a home, going to church on Sunday, being a kick-ass mom, writing bad poetry.  What I'm doing now would not seem cool to her at all.  And it's not cool really.  It's just interesting enough to keep me showing up for a paycheck and give me something to care about to break up the time I would otherwise be completely absorbed in me.

I'd like to talk to future me instead.  I would tell her that I can't believe what we've made of this.  Whatever it is, I feel fairly certain it will exceed my current imagination since everything up until now has.  I'd like to tell her that I think that means good things but I guess there have been some incredibly bad and low times too I never imagined so I would congratulate her for weathering those storms.  It's good that we can remember but somehow still forget enough to not be in a constant state of terror or mourning.  I would tell her I think she should always have a dog and that I cried about Baloo 10 years before because I knew she wasn't forever and 10 years after.  Damn dog.

I hope future me still has Soul Twin and if we haven't bought that piece of land and settled into our non-lesbian lives together then I hope we still empty the dishwasher together from 2000 or 20 miles away, consult each other on random purchases, counsel each other though minor meltdowns due to poorly timed romantic comedy viewings or bad dates, and unscrew each other from the ceiling as needed.  Maybe we won't get our happy ending in love but at least we have something to look forward to if it doesn't work out.

I hope future me is an aunt and that my brother and sister find good souls to build lives with.  I hope my nieces and/or nephews really get to know their grandparents because those are some great people to know.  I hope to hold babies in my arms and then give them back to their parents.  I would tell me to keep investing in myself, whether it is a personal trainer or a monthly massage because I deserve a treat for putting up with myself 24/7.  I also hope future me gets to a HBCU to see one of these in person:



and one of these (go 'head Becky's! that routine was awesome)



and this



and isn't this adorable?



But seriously, none of those can top this.