What I'm doing

I've bothered several people today and have still others I plan to bother. I have spent almost every evening after 7 pm in the bed writing and messing around on the computer until the wee hours of the morning. I should be in Virginia right now jettisoning stress by attending to important things but opted instead to bring weird energy into the yoga studio and hang out in my underwear writing a two paragraph e-mail to a local publisher for most of the rest of the evening. No one has time or inclination to lead me through the maze of figuring out how to do something more with this writing but I hope to learn something from the rejection which is why I bothered at all. Hopefully, I will get some sort of feedback with the rejection rather than a vacuum of silence. I hope also that I won't be as dense as I was earlier this week. I was waiting for someone I had never met and went up to a guy who bore a slight resemblance to pictures I had seen of the person I was going to meet. I asked him if he was Mr. Smith and he laughed and said 'No, but he's a handsome guy!' and slapped my shoulder. I looked at him and just walked away. I was embarrassed to have gone up to the wrong guy and even more puzzled that this random other guy thought the guy I was meeting was handsome. I was concerned that he knew this other guy and was going to laugh at me even more when he did show up. 12 hours later, I got the joke and felt like a total jerk.

Adding me to your favorites on Technorati

I have no idea what I'm doing....

To do: get new hobby. get boyfriend.

It is a lovely lazy Saturday. I've been working on something for weeks now that I can't seem to get right that I think I will submit to the Washington Post. I've been entertaining sending links to random people and just generally stirring things up so I can have something interesting to think about. I've been practicing taking pictures of myself to see it it's possible to take a good picture and I've got a crush on my yoga instructor because he's the only man here who touches me. He's most assuredly gay but he has this well of calm in his eyes and has a great touch. When he touches me, it reminds me that people need touch. I have got to get a boyfriend. I joined meet-up.com and am now a member of various groups that plan all sorts of neat stuff. I've not been to a single event, finding that my desire for company never seems to mesh up with their event schedule. Story of my life.

The local coffee shop is great. It is often so crowded that you have to sit with strangers if you'd like a seat and I find it somehow a good antidote for the loneliness that comes with a new city. I read my book, eat my food, and feel like I'm just hanging out with friends who can enjoy each other's company without talking. Today, I was at a table of three of us who were strangers to one another. The other two had computers and cell phones to keep them entertained; I had a book. It was all good. I kept dropping food and otherwise eating like I wasn't in public, hunched over my food like I was in prison and barely looking up until it was gone. Still, it was all good.

Things that make me laugh about myself: My hesitancy in submitting an idea for a show because the submission guidelines warn that you must be willing to appear on the show. I paused and then laughed. I'm not going to be on a TV show! The thought that I'd have to avoid being on television, I love my imagination sometimes. But if I ever do become rock star famous for writing, I will be calling Oprah out for not answering my e-mail. I can see it now, sitting on her couch, stumping for my latest navel-gazing book, and telling her that I was actually looking forward to coming on the show to confront her for not personally answering my e-mail. Then I'll read from my letter provided by her staff, who will have dug up my submission from long ago and oh, how we'll laugh. The tag line for the show will be, 'IP settles grudge with Oprah at 4. Find out what it is and Oprah's surprising reaction."

Seriously. I've got to get a boyfriend.

This just in: Obama not Jesus

Everyone blogging on this theme of what elections don't magically address, we get it. Everyone trying to manage our collective expectations, it's okay, we know this Presidency has challenges ahead. We hope but aren't sure that Obama-Biden will leave the country better than they found it when their tenure at the helm is up. Like promotions in the military are based on a confidence in your ability to serve at the next higher grade, an election is always a gamble. No one would have voted for Bush if anyone had the faintest inkling of how he and Cheney were going to hand the country back to us in 8 years. Yet while they were pursuing their agendas and committing the country's resources to wars, we were no less equipped to feed the hungry here at home, or share the gospel, or support our churches and communities in need. Yes, there is an abundance of sentiment and fervor at rallies and in general for Obama that made/make many Christians uncomfortable because they recognized, I think, people being touched in a way that inspired religious-like zeal and devotion. I think many Christians were kind of hating on that. Maybe even a little threatened like Jesus was the best band ever and was slipping in the charts to someone who couldn't even read music. Maybe even a little moved themselves in ways that threatened idolatry. It's easy to do and not wrong to warn against it. I'm just saying that perhaps there's a little more to those exhortations to remember in whom your salvation lies if we dig a little deeper or are a little more honest as individuals and as a Christian community about the place where those concerns spring from.

And finally to those reminding us that Obama isn't Jesus, that our hope does not or should not rest in any man but in Christ, we get that too. Anybody who doesn't probably isn't reading your blog.

The Afterglow

While my head is still spinning that I went to bed on election night and actually knew who my next president will be and while I am still relieved, elated, and inspired that it was Obama, I just wanted to get a few thoughts down.

I thought McCain gave a wonderful concession speech and it was good that Palin didn't talk at all though she appeared to be struggling to hold it together. It was the McCain that I saw tonight that as an independent voter I think would have been a strong contender for my vote had he not made such a troubling and bewildering choice in his running mate. Cest la vie, it is done and I'm elated with America's choice.

Now there are no more excuses. The man isn't keeping us down, he's not pulling strings we can't mount defenses against, whatever we fail to achieve as Americans, as blacks, as women, we have to own those failures as our own. Are there obstacles? People who deliberately advance agendas contrary to individuals and groups? Absolutely. But as much as I didn't cast my vote today to elect a black president, I am so ridiculously proud that my country did and showed that the primary consideration for the majority of Americans was who they thought was most qualified to lead our nation. Every single black person in America could have voted for Obama and that would not have won him the White House. I appreciate more than I or anyone of any color can convey what this means to our ambitions, hopes, dreams, and love for our country, but I'm not a fan of the race-centric discussions. Let him be our President first, a man of color second.

I also wanted to share how in love with my nation I am tonight. How in love with the thought that Americans and the world will get to know a black family that I identify with, that is not a caricature of black packaged and sold the world over. I am proud that they will be the ambassadors of both my ethnicity and my citizenry for this country and for the world. They inspire me to be a better public servant, and a more civic minded American. I am proud to work for the government and the challenge he has issued to roll up our collective sleeves and get to work inspires me to raise the bar on how I discharge the duties I've been trusted with. I told my mom earlier tonight, long before any projections were made that the thought of an Obama presidency made me want to work in Washington and work in the seat of government to facilitate the realization of the vision in 'Yes We Can.' It feels like a calling-so strange after the apathy of my adult voting life never feeling connected to the person who led our country, casting whimsical and arbitrary votes for a particular candidate because it was how my breakfast settled in my stomach on that particular day. It never felt like my vote mattered. I never felt I had an active role in shaping the future of my country. And now the work begins.

And on a slightly frivolous parting note, I'm happy that America will get to know a black woman. If Michelle starts an end-run on educated black women as desirous company and mates, that will be enough for me. I will finally get some play. I don't care if it's a fad. I'll finally be on the right side of one.

Seriously, what is the deal with the Fire Sale picture?

I can not imagine why so many people the world over are interested in fire. And why they come here to get it. I googled fire images and mine is on the third page of results. Getting kind of creeped out about what the world is up to in its quest for fire pictures.

Weirdness

Not sure what is going on in the world but I'm seeing traffic to my site all going to this post about my lame party plans aka, the fire sale. The picture is from photobucket which is where I get a lot of the pictures for this blog. Turns out it just easier to imbed pictures that way than it is to import them from my computer library to this site. Anyway, it's just weird.