LA Story

So the wedding was beautiful and the bride and groom looked like they had a great time together and with their guests. I saw some old friends and got caught up, answered the question 'what happened to your foot' at least a half dozen times, and managed to avoid dancing at the reception without seeming like a wallflower (I think). I also lost my camera which is more annoying than it is distressing because I don't think I actually took any pictures. We had a strange encounter at what turned out to be a gay bar during our bachelorette night. We abruptly left the bar without finishing our drinks during a lull in the techno house music and the remaining patrons descended on our half finished drinks like they were homeless. One of the girls yelled as we were leaving 'we have herpes!' but that did nothing to slow their consumption. Fucking weird.

The next club was great and provided almost non-stop entertainment. The music was good, yours truly even danced a little, and the patrons were awesome. My girlfriend is a really cute redhead with a great figure. She loves to dance and I don't think she sat down the entire time we were there. Several creepy guys kept trying to move in on her and not only did we get pictures of them as they crept towards her but the minute they started trying to work their way into the circle, one of the other girls totally cock blocked them. It was awesome because she would just hurl herself off the couch and on to the floor, rockin' it hard and getting between them until he went away. It was hilarious. It reminded me of the Saturday Night Live skit (and movie), Night at the Roxbury. That is how our friend danced between the bride to be and the host of would-be sex offenders in that club.

Then there was the free porn. There was a couple there that...wow. If anyone ever needed a room, it was these two. They weren't going at it frantically, they were going slow and sensual like they were absolutely alone in the room. It was out. of. control. My favorite part of that couple was when they made their way to the front and were up against the DJ's booth. Then there was the girl multi-tasking, freaking the DJ booth while waiting in line for the bathroom. The girls coming up behind her were so confused. As always, there was a line of guys up against the bar, watching the girls dance like they were at a strip club.

I returned home to an early 4th of July fireworks display. I had been trying to make it back in time to join OG to watch the fireworks at Penns Landing but I ended up spending an hour and a half getting home because I had to be a cheap ass and take the train and then the bus instead of a 10 minute cab. I was pissed as I walked the remainder of the way home but I ended up catching the best part on the street right outside my building. So I stood outside with my suitcase on a fantastic Philly Saturday night and felt like the city was celebrating my return.


Video courtesy of OG who is a dear and recorded this on her camera phone because she thought I was missing it.