Fresh Air

So it's clear from the last series of posts that I'm going through a thing right now. Life physically hurts right now, like I'm inside out and everything reminds me of something that hurts-shoots straight through me like a psychic soul punch. So I'm hunkering in a bit and seeking perspective, working to acknowledge that I should be so lucky to have the 'problems' I have. While others go to the gym, go for a hike, drink, hook up with someone, sleep..., I found a welcome and surprising respite in a marathon of Extreme Forensics. It was a dose of much needed perspective. I'm navigating a medium to severe depressive episode but no one is tricking themselves into my home and choking me out with a telephone cord. Or bludgeoning me in my sleep and dismembering my body with a circular saw. Even writing it, the clouds part a little. Sure, we are all absolutely going to die but all things considered, I think most of us would prefer to NOT die at the hands of another. So far in what seems to be a largely pathetic experience, there is at least that in the plusses column.

I guess I'm getting worse at appearing normal because a co-worker kindly implored me 'as a friend' to take some vacation. I hadn't even said much more than hello. He was insistent that anything less than 2 weeks would not cut it. But you know, some people are just really bad at taking time off. 2 weeks is terrifying. It's probably worth adding to my things to get better at list but starting out the gate at 2 weeks is probably too lofty a goal.

Anyway...