Random Letter(s)

Dear Me,

You are NOT allowed to talk to hot guys at the gym. No matter how kick ass and confident you feel following that work out, your hair is completely insane and you should not speak to anyone, nevermind the hot guy. I'm sorry I had to be so hard on you but your hair looked like a muppet tonight and that was not the time to finally have a mini-conversation with the hot guy you've noticed since before you moved here. That is why he did not respond when you said in a friendly non-commital fashion that the two of you should talk more about your former military careers sometime. Either that or that's a really boring thing to talk about. Or he was distracted by the lithe blond he was training who he was literally having leap up and down as an exercise. Either way, keep your head down, brow wiped, and mouth shut. Talk to hot guys, yes. Talk to hot guys at the gym, uh-uh.

Dear Champion,

I was so excited to get your sports bra in the mail today. So glad you make an awesome POWERBACK underwire sports bra. But you're totally fired because it took me 10 minutes to get off and 5 to get on and that was dry, not sweat-slicked and sticky like I would be after a work out. WHY would you make a bra made of elasticized concrete that I have to pull over my head instead of the tried and true hook and spin? Why? This bra made me sad because it's the kind of bra you need a boyfriend to help you get on and off. It's the kind of bra I could not wear in my 70's for fear of passing out while trying to remove it. Why is it so hard to find a decent sports bra? Is it that physics defying? Why does being athletic and endowed mean you have to look lumpy and badly shaped at the gym?

I suspect this will not be my last letter to bra makers.