Word jumble

Oh Wise One

Don't you just love someone who dishes out helpful advice even when it isn't solicited or necessary? I know I do. Take today when someone suggested I schedule my language test later in the morning after I said I wasn't a morning person. Hmmm....you don't say? The test I'm scheduling for myself at a time of my choosing, I should make that at a time convenient for me? Quit your day job, Oprah! I want YOU running my life if you've got more gems like that. Can't wait to be in a foreign country away from my family with you, you special person, you. It will be like sitting at the feet of Jesus or Buddha. I am in for a *treat.* Maybe you can even remind me to wear a hat and gloves when it's cold or to watch out when I cross the street. I can't figure out if giving advice is your full time job, or you just like to hear the sound of your own voice and want us to feel like we're getting something out of it too. Perhaps you do not have enough to do? Or you just think everyone around you lacks common sense?

Ugh. You are wasting everybody's time.

In Memoriam: Steve the would-be-lymph-node

Oh Steve. You were such a potential bad-ass 24 hours ago. Now you're a discarded fatty mass that almost got your own spinoff sitcom from the Ava show. Prime time is hard, lots of pilots don't get picked up Steve. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just think, of all the fatty masses I'm rocking, you were the one who was recognized for your star potential and plucked out of obscurity. I know you wanted more for yourself but I think you're great just the way you were and cancer doesn't have a thing on you. You rock. Thanks for being you.

So.....

I guess we're back to this leaving the country thing again. *sigh* While Steve was being screened to focus groups, I kind of back-burnered language and worry and dread about this assignment because I figured there may be much bigger fish to fry. When the doctor came in and told me Steve was an impostor, I had about .3 seconds of great relief before the ungrateful '*sigh* Guess I'm going to eastern Europe,' followed by 'oh shit I've got so much to do before I go' thoughts moved into the vacuum Steve left.

Maybe my memory fails me but I think this is the first time I've been crazy enough to think something like "Well, if I have cancer, at least I won't have to go to eastern Europe." I think this is first time I've considered a serious disease having any upside at all. Cry/blood curdling scream/guttural moan for help perhaps?

Need to rally or find the reset button on this because it's an exhausting process without having to drag myself through it. I asked a friend to keep her eye out for a job that might trump this one in terms of people willing to put up a fight to get me. I think that's the last I can give this before just riding the current out there and beginning the countdown to leaving upon arriving. I know, A+ attitude Ava!