I am lonely or bored--they kind of both feel the same. I'm waiting for something to happen. For someone to notice me so I matter. I've become semi-attached to Facebook, not posting but looking at everyone's super fun lives or super witty status' or terrible inane updates that still get comments and likes (which pisses me off on some level). I've been trying to figure out the critical mass of 'friends' you must have on Facebook to ensure you never post a status that is completely ignored by all (which happens to yours truly quite often). To be fair, 2/3 of my Facebook friends are people I haven't seen since 1992 and have no plans to see.

I've looked at my posts over the last year and especially over the last month or so and I am frustrated with the quality. This has always been a bit of an online diary/diatribe but lately it's just been poo. Ohhh, I have an unhealthy relationship with my boss/work, oooh, I'll never have a boyfriend or husband, oooh, Ashley is irritating again, ooh I'm melancholy. I'm just off. I have no space for this. I am constrained in my own space both here and in this apartment. I'm wondering about stupid unproductive things; will anyone ever make me feel that way again, what time should I leave tomorrow, what should I wear, should I drive or take the train, which car should I take...

Very irritated with myself right now.