I love her. I miss her. But here's what I don't miss.
The Foul Towel: Ashley loves her lotions, potions, and body washes. 3-5 can be used in the same shower session (the results of which are the topic of another thing I won't miss). Ashley however is stridently against the clean rinse and wring of her washcloth. The result after a week is a cheesy smell that hits me once the stall heats up and the moisture activates and lifts the scent of her washcloth towards my nostrils. The morning I met this novelty and discovered its source was one where I wondered how long before she found her own place.
Death by moisture layer: As noted above, Ashley loves the potions and lotions and applies all generously throughout her hair and body. She often spends a few moments after her shower combing out her hair soaked in leave-in conditioner. The result of her post shower-in shower grooming is a moisture slick which has bruised my inner thigh and almost daily ended my life in a mangled naked shower tragedy.
The Hair, oh God, the hair: I would entertain a conspiracy theory that she keeps extra hair in a bag and just leaves chunks of it throughout the house. In the kitchen, in the hallway, in Silkwood exposure quantities in the shower, just every damn where.
Judge Judy/Joe Brown/Real Housewives of Anywhere at all: RIP. Will not miss coming home to you blaring out of the TV speakers while Ashley reclined outstretched on the sofa.
Sound Machine: I sleep like death once I am asleep but it must be quiet and I absolutely can not do snoring which Ashley has been known to do from time to time when she fall behind on her allergy meds. Finally bought a sound masking machine so I could fall asleep without listening to her yawn and move around in her floor covers:
The Room: Before and after pictures coming as this can not be adequately captured in words.
No comments:
Post a Comment