Keeps me coming back for more

*Cue predictable retrospective post*

It's nice to start the new year out clean and organized, launch into a new year as your most ideal 'you.'  I won't be starting this year that way and I'm actively working to not freak about it.  In a few hours it will be 2012.  Ok then.  Since this isn't a Disney movie, nothing magical happens at midnight, I will just hopefully already be in bed.  I don't have to resolve to start or stop anything, I don't have to set goals.  I realized that part of why I don't set goals for fitness is I don't want a finish line, a number to achieve from which to advance and retreat.  I just want to keep getting stronger and feeling better.

This was one of those years that reminds me of how life can surprise.  There was darkness, uncertainty, and struggle in this year that at times made me feel like I'd seen all I wanted to see in this life.  But there was also intrigue and that's what keeps me coming back for more.  What I know of next year already has its share of challenge and worry;  language testing, moving, transporting Baloo overseas, wild dog encounters.  But the system has already started gearing up for my departure so while I remain in semi-active denial that this time next year I will have one Eastern European holiday season under my belt, that may well be the case.  The imagination station in me daydreams about a circumstance as random and unexpected as the circumstance I'm already in to rescue me from the things I most dread in the coming year.  Whatever happens I hope I can revisit the perspective of this year when obstacles in the coming year make me wonder if anything on the other side of the pain will seem worth the hassle.