Ode to shameless men

Today was one of those days. It was ass crack hot, my pants were too high for my shoes, I felt frumpy and lumpy, had a zit on my chin, a bad hair day, just eww all around. But then old black men (OBM) came to the rescue. OBM are my key demographic. Eye contact usually gives way to a comment, solicitation, or compliment but eye contact is not necessary. Today OBM said if he had seen me trying to catch the elevator, he would have stuck his head in the door to hold it for me. Strange but wonderfully awkward to ride down with him and his buddies who joked with me about it. Couple of weeks ago in Baltimore, it was the guy who yelled at me as I crossed the street that I was lucky he didn't hit me and then said I was prettier than a motherfucker. Then suggested I get in his car. I started the day feeling like a soccer mom and ended the day wondering if prostitutes wore khaki shorts and mary jane Clarks. Don't know what a motherfucker looks like but I do know that OBM thought I was prettier.

And then there's Larry. Bless his cotton socks. He's not an OBM, he's a would-be cub to my would-be cougar, which for him is just a matter of perspective. I don't feel a woman in her mid-30's qualifies as a cougar but he's clearly got a type and that type is older than him. I met him over a year ago and haven't seen him since. I've told him no every time he's asked to see me again. He is persistent without crossing over into stalker though I am probably being generous in that assessment. He forgot my name but that didn't prevent him from jumping right back into the discussion of seeing me. He can not be shamed away. I told him I was leaving Philly and was solidly booked until I leave. He responded, 'sure you are', waited a week and then asked when we were going to dinner. I responded 'booked solid must mean something different in your language.' It doesn't make him go away.

So I salute you shameless men. I needed a boost today and there you were, the cancer causing saccharine substitute for my sweet tooth.