Gene Summers

I failed Japanese culture in the 7th grade. It was the only subject in school I ever failed. I failed because I cared more about Gene Summers than I did about doing anything at all in class. If I could have seen myself back then, I'll bet I was really, really, really creepy and sad. People naturally payed attention to Gene because he was full of antics and general popularity but I studied Gene. I studied his girlfriend Kristen trying to find out what about her appealed to him, what was special about her that I didn't have. I didn't want to miss a thing and I'm pretty sure I didn't because I sure as heck got an F from Mr. Towada.

I will miss my boss because I have a work crush on him. I had been a little confused about how I felt about him-not how I actually felt but more concerned with the level of devotion and attention I gave him and whether it meant more than I wanted to admit. That was until Ashley commented how much my boss seemed like our Dad. Bingo. He's a walking contradiction and not as nurturing person as I wish he could be but what I do get from him is special and not dispensed to everyone. My dad once told me that I elevate the humanity of every place I serve. I don't know how he could say that since we've never worked together but when my boss got a little emotional over the gift we gave him, I thought of what my Dad said and I was happy to have pricked my bosses heart just a little bit. He claims he hasn't cried since he was a teenager but his voice cracked when we presented him with his gift and he later admitted he did get emotional. I'm still super proud we conveyed how much he means to us in a way that touched him. I eat that kind of shit up. With a giant ladle even.

Gene Summer's ghost lingers though. I wonder if my boss likes me as much as I like him. I wonder if I'll be a part of his life after he leaves. I feel like it's not appropriate for me to make plans to visit him because I've only met his wife once and while I like her, her husband is the one I know. I refuse to be fight fodder because my intentions are misconstrued or our friendship is used as cannon fodder in fights that are about other things. Which means regardless of whether we both enjoy hanging out and working together, both things are over now. Another casualty of this lifestyle. Sadness of leaving people you would have never met if you didn't keep moving.

Also in the bittersweet column is finally having a conversation with a woman in my neighborhood that I've seen for a couple of years. One of the top 5 random conversations I've had with strangers in this city. It was great. Even in this well worn experience, same commute, same people on the streets, same hot garbage smell on hot days, this city-every city, can bring a new experience that makes you a little sad for the potential that can't be realized.