Today I'm just going to let myself be sad. I had told my boss I would be putting on the big girl pants today after letting myself be miserable last night but maybe an entire 24 hours is a more acceptable grieving period. I don't want to go to work (really, when do I ever) and see his empty crumb-strewn desk. I woke up this morning and for a few minutes I was fine and then I was really sad again and crying. So I'm just going to give in today and let myself cry, do laps in my sorrow and anxiety now that my chief counsel and best friend in Philly is gone. I might also buy some espadrilles I've had my eye on and if I don't give myself another terrible crying headache I might even work out this evening.
I am pleased I got to him as much as he got to me, that I wasn't alone in my delight to work with him and in how much I looked forward to sharing stories with him. He was a handful and leaned on me for far more than he asked of anyone else but that was both a point of frustration and of pride. He trusted me. Winning the trust of a wary man is an achievement and privilege. I'm sad for a lot of reasons right now but grieving really because I've never worked with anyone twice so this was probably it for us. We will intersect professionally for sure, tangentially or directly. But you can never go back, this was what it was. Talk of trying to serve together again is an expression of our deep respect and admiration for one another, not something that is likely to happen. We did try to have me follow him to his next post but it didn't work out. I'm disappointed I don't get to work with him but I do think what lies ahead for me will be an interesting professional detour and will serve us both if we beat the odds and are fortunate enough to serve together again.
Can't wait to get out of here.
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