Mercy

I don't know about you but sometimes I fantasize that one small thing will be fixed in my body and everything will fall into place. Intellectually I know my joints consider their best days behind them and we're really entering a maintenance phase for this body rental. A part of me though thinks of something like this little bump being the clue that unravels the mysteries of all the other phantom ailments. Wouldn't it be nice if all the little mysteries fit into this little bump? It's one thing to not feel well, it's another thing to not know why. Even worse to feel you have to cede your quality of life to just feeling okay because few doctors are truly interested in your wellness. I went to sleep with a pillow and ice on my face last night unable to find comfort any other way. This morning, I woke up at 2 to find my left side feeling normal but my right side rumbling with the threat of another headache.

I've been up since then, drinking tea, doing laundry, taking Tylenol in a vain attempt to get ahead of pain that is already way in front of me. It's almost time for me to get up and I'm finally winding down so today is probably going to be awesome. I have a big talk ahead of me at work and I just have to keep reminding myself that I have nothing to lose. I hate confrontation but I hate wondering what would be if I had just stood up for myself. I'm getting a little too old to endure bullshit without at least going down swinging but I hate to be doing it on a day when I'm feeling less than my best.