You move with the deliberation of a geisha; from the intricate (but somehow still rough) removal of the anti-theft tag, to the delicate folding and deliberate stacking of my purchases. Bag selection is another nail-biting moment and I love, love, love, it when you leave the register to get the perfect bag for my purchase, even if there is a winding line behind me. I love being the person who makes the wait just a little longer for all the hateful eyes boring into my back. No matter how long the line is (especially you, Ross), you absolutely never betray a sense of urgency. I've watched you, I've watched groups of you to see if there is an industrious one among the bunch that doesn't want to discourage shoppers with slow moving lines manned by disinterested cashiers. But nope, if you notice people having second thoughts about how much they really need that sweater because they have been in line long enough to start weighing the costs and benefits, you don't dare betray it by moving any faster. There is something else too, an undercurrent of resentment. Like I'm putting YOU out by being in your line, making purchases, spending money. I know, I'm such a jerk. I'm incredulous that absolutely no one ever, ever moves quickly. It's like there's a gas leak in your store.
I keep telling myself to bring a book....
Ava
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Dear Aubry from LA Ink,
Holy crap. How do you spend so much time on your eyes and an inverse amount of time on absolutely everything else? You are truly the picture that belongs next to 'hot mess' in the dictionary. I've never seen questionable hygiene, unflattering clothing, and prodigious amounts of make-up come together in such an unholy stew. I suspect that you are or were a man. Wow. I just figured out that you were on Rock of Love. That explains everything. But what bothers me more than your hard to look at face, is your lack of respect for yourself or your willingness to do anything to be on television. Or both. I know good reality television is editing for maximum drama but I can't for the life of me figure out why you are still at the shop and on the show.
I also can't figure out why I'm watching. Makes me want to write a letter to myself.
2 comments:
I think the lines at Winco are worse. I never go there without a book to keep my sanity while I wait amongst screaming children and couples fighting in foreign languages!
The who line thing really is amazing isn't it. Guess they figure they're there for the next 8 hours so you should be too!
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