If it weren't for my imagination

I wouldn't have a life. Though I haven't left the house, save potty pilgrimages with the dog today, I have lived out several chose-your-adventures in my daydreams. In my daydreams, things with Dave (cute bartender) were excellent. We had great physical chemistry and we enjoyed one another's company. There was lots of laughter, smiling, and affection. In my daydreams, he loved to cook and his food was amazing. I'm not sure real life can really compete with my daydreams which is why I often chose them over exploration of anything real. In fact, the intrusions of real life, at least as it concerns relationships, have always come in a way that I had no time or opportunity to idealize them or even really recognize they were evolving. They were approached with no expectation and/or no emotional investment in the outcome. Mostly because I didn't recognize any potential for a relationship-they were surprises.

If I could, I would approach all opposite sex interaction that way but unfortunately, when I see it coming, it's hard not to flinch. When it comes to boy/girl stuff, I'm that person who never learned how to put eye drops in without freaking out and getting it everywhere but in my eye. I actually know a guy like that. He's allergic to my dog (and his two cats) but loves animals so can't resist petting her. Before too long, he needs some eye drops but he hasn't figured out how to aim for his eye without actually looking at the dispenser so naturally, he blinks. He always ends of soaking the lid of his eye and surrounding face and working as much of the medicine as possible into his actual eye which is completely ineffective. Wow, I didn't know that analogy was going to be so solid when I started but I'm really digging it. :-)

So as I sit here living foul, looking at things I haven't put away from last weekend and wondering how I lost a hammer in 900 square feet of condo, I consider going out for that beer that might get me some more Dave time. Then I think, I was so composed and confident and he was so nice this afternoon in my daydreams, why ruin everything with reality? These crushes work themselves out over time. If there was anything to this for him, I wouldn't be writing about my daydreams, I'd be writing about our dates.