Some alibis and some groundwork

Going back to yesterday's post I have a few postscripts to apply. I am a little like God in that I am always the same; whenever someone I haven't seen in a while asks what I've been up to, the answer is always the same. I've been working, every few years or so, I've been moving, and I still have Baloo. There are no significant others or milestones like anniversaries, first days of school, pregnancy, promotions. I just am. On any given day I may have had a strange encounter with an out and about homeless person or old man on the prowl but it's always 65 and partly sunny in Ava land otherwise. Many of my friends are moving forward, they have started families or had them when we met, and they are absorbed in that life and frame of reference for everything they do. A frame of reference I can empathize but ultimately can not relate with. Their closest friends are now people they can share their current life experiences with. Someone who probably has extra diaper wipes, who can relate to the trials and tribulations of marriage and parenthood. I know I'm not that friend for you and you aren't the friend for me who is available to talk every day about nothing at all or who even routinely picks up when I call. That's just not where life is at for you right now. Best we can do is keep our contact warm, see if we weather the transition, and wish eachother the company kindred spirits for where we are at right now.

Also, I'm crabby and I know I'm crabby. I feel I am under siege. Hopefully I will find a way to reset and recharge because I fear I will make decisions, big decisions that are more of a reflection of my need to take a break than they are sound career choices.

I was reading my old blog which because Apple sucks, I can not archive here. I was far more honest there. Perhaps because only Teresa was reading so I felt l was writing letters to an old friend. I don't know if it's nostalgia, narcissm..I just kind of missed those days. 2011 assessment/plans coming soon. It's been real Philly but the countdown begins.