Das Boot: Day 3

When I went to basic training, they couldn't stress foot care enough. Every cadet had 8 kinds of moleskin, a pedicure kit that rivaled a salon, and sock technology normally reserved for astronauts. Keep your nails clipped straight across, change your socks at least daily, keep your feet clean and above all, KEEP YOUR FEET DRY. Wet feet closed up in black boots during an August in Texas was the devil's workbench. Even when we slept outside forgoing all other manner of hygiene, boots came off for a least a few hours to air out and allow for a sock change.

This morning fresh from our 9th straight day of rain, I walked the dog in the dewy morning grass and went on to work where my boss laughed at me every time he looked at me with a cute shoe on one foot and an enormous Franken-boot on the other. He couldn't help himself ("it's just so HUGE!"). I stomped around all day and walked the dog again in the evening finally taking off this bitch of a boot for my half hour of freedom. When I lifted my leg to remove today's sock, I thought 'something wicked this way went.' When I actually removed the sock, a soggy, sharp smelling foot presented. Without being too terribly graphic, the friction, moisture, last nights careful moisturizing, and synthetic sock had done the equivalent of a long soak, saran wrap, and aggressive pumice scrub to the ball of my foot. This is day three. The boot is going to be a bloody biohazard at week six. They'll have to burn it. On the plus side, my right foot is really soft and smooth.

Tonight I got back to basics. I let my foot dry completely before putting on the sock, powdered my feet and will take care in the morning if I get dew-soaked toes, to actually change out the socks. I'm not convinced I need this boot. I don't want to use it anymore. It's weird and awkward in strange ways. Like going to the toilet. My legs aren't even and my shin doesn't bend so I land unevenly on the seat (great visual, right?). Why can't I just use an ace bandage? I walked to the hospital the day they gave me this infernal boot. It was a slow walk but isn't this overkill? I seriously entertain thoughts that perhaps the doctor was just punishing me for irritating him. I'm not sure what I did, he was in the room with a me about 2 minutes and though my X-rays were on the computer screen, never consulted them in my presence. I would have at least liked to see the break but it was all over so quickly it was like trying to catch my breath in a bracing wind. My feet have already started to atrophy into a perfect L and I know it's going to hurt like a mo-fo in June when I start trying to walk on it like a normal person. In some ways that will be worse. At least with the boot, my funny walk makes sense. Sans boot, I'm back to going out of my way to not be mistaken for homeless. Maybe that's when I'll wear the dress.