Dudes

I don't feel bad being inside because it's stupid hot outside. I did my time this morning walking the dog and watching part of the parade. Two bottles of water and one iced coffee later, I still haven't peed. That's how hot it is readers. My body can't keep up. It's like pouring water on a hot stone.

I know every woman can say she doesn't understand men but one thing other women seem to understand better is the notion of ignoring men you aren't interested in. Explaining to a guy what your level of interest is and the ins and outs of how you arrive at that decision doesn't really matter. There is a certain man out there that enjoys the challenge of wearing a woman down. Who doesn't seem to have a problem with being told no again and again. I'd like to think I'm so awesome I would drive a man to set aside his pride but I'm smart enough to know it has way more to do with him than it does with me. Eventually he'll move on but for now it is equal parts delight and annoyance to have him reappear just when I thought he'd really moved on.

I've noted before my belief in the notion of filling in the empty spaces these things leave lest I return to them in a moment of weakness or more likely, boredom. I'm eschewing this casual encounter because I don't want to get in the habit of trading down. I don't want to pursue the path of least resistance. But this is one of those areas I feel is harder to fill with something comparable while I keep turning over stones looking for treasure. I can throw myself into hobbies, work, and friends but nothing compares to that little flip in your stomach or the warmth that washes over you full of well being and promise.

Being in a certain kind of mood, naturally my house guest situation wears on me a little more. The best I can describe it is how I feel at the end of a set of reps when I'm working out. It starts to require far more of my concentration to keep good form and power through. Ashley is conducting the least urgent job search I've ever observed and I dread what happens in 6 weeks when I'm going to have to either extend the existing conditions (8 weeks) or remain firm on the terms and set her loose. I think she is my preview to living with a guy. She leaves hair everywhere, is completely oblivious to contributing to housekeeping, and treats her bodily noises like gifts. She makes me want to say things like 'this is why we can't have nice things.' And the rising at noon, turning on the TV, eating, and showering between 2-4 pm thing just drives me CRAZY. Nothing about that says 'job search.'

But I love this movie.

"It makes me aerodynamic when I fight."

Love it.