I don't know but I thought I'd ask the question to see if any of you knew. My stomach hurts because I walked in the door and proceeded to attack a bag of cookies almost exactly like cookie monster does. There is a pile of chunky cookie debris on my table because I don't actually like the cookies, I like the huge milk chocolate chips. Then I ate some broccoli and thai noodle salad. I'm sure that cancelled out the chocolate, right?
I don't want to go outside because it's sticky but more importantly, nothing good happens out there. If I run into my cute neighbor with his puppy, it will inevitably want to socialize with Baloo and Baloo will inevitably try to fight it. Then I will try to say something clever and apologetic about Baloo's poor social skills and then I will walk away. The best thing that will happen out there is Baloo will poop. That and I won't have to listen to my sister spit repeatedly in the sink. It's starting to make me nauseous. She's easily spit at least 10 times (now 20). I don't even want to know why. It concerns me that she doesn't have a lick of insurance. Why again did I agree to this? I am fucking insane.
I'm guessing she caught whatever crud she's got from Hamid. Hamid is a random dude she met on craigslist--the place I suggested she look for jobs and potential apartments, not strangers to hook up with. I came home one afternoon last week to learn she had spent the day with Hamid at his apartment in north Killadelphia. I was beside myself. Everything this girl didn't do in high school she's trying out now. I feel a family conflict coming on because I'm feeling very committed to my 8 week limit on this living arrangement right now. I'm just not the person who can watch a person do so many things clearly detrimental to their physical, mental, and spiritual health and not have a problem with it. I want to ostrich this problem. I want her to go away so I can pretend she's doing better than she actually is. I want to ostrich life right now. I have ridiculous hair, terrible opposite sex social skills, and assets I don't know how to use. I have time I don't use well, I have pretty nice legs that I never really show, I have money I'm not investing with any plan...the list goes on. All well within the realm of things I should be able to change. What commands my attention however, is walking the dog and then sprinting home to decon the bathroom from the spit fest I just heard. I hate/hate/hate sharing a bathroom. The way she is with things often makes me want to give up on everything grooming and housekeeping related. Eh, I know I've got a lot on my mind but I also believe I'm being assaulted by chemistry as well. We would not have lasted as a race if men had periods.
Apologize for the random and pouty post. I know I've got something good in here somewhere, it just hasn't made its way to my head yet.
5 comments:
wow...sounds like your sister living with you is pretty tough. i wouldn't be able to handle it even half as well as you are.
the broccoli and thai noodle salad totally canceled out the chocolate. works every time!
This is a great post, I don't know what you're talking about. You do good stream of consciousness and have an even voice. "If men had periods.." Please--dont make me laugh!
Oh Lodo, you really are the best. Thanks for being here.
Megan, I polished off the remaining chocolate chips tonight but at least I worked out before I resumed the chocolate chip binge. No broccoli but I did have some more thai noodle salad. It's about balance, right?
Sharing a bathroom is the worst!! I used to share a bathroom with three other people in this really grotty apartment in Madrid. There was this couple that chain smoked and every morning, one after the other, they'd go into the bathroom (which shared a wall with my closet-like bedroom) and hack up lung butter for fifteen minutes. A morning wake-up call!! LOL
"The best thing that will happen out there is Baloo will poop."
You are hilarious!
If men had periods there would be paid days off for menstruation and no tax on tampons or pads. And they'd probably brag about how much they bled. "Dude, I can saturate a super in four hours!"
Good luck with your house guest situation! I hope things harmonize soon!!
tamara: You are SO right about men and periods. The commercials wouldn't be palatable blue liquid either, they would go out of their way to demonstrate the gore and the absorbency. Dear God, can you imagine them around the water cooler, 'Yea Steve's out today, terrible cramps man, I feel bad for him. He's our best hitter, gotta start scheduling the games around him."
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