The drinking week

Every now and then when I go to the doctor, I get to fill out one of those wonderful questionnaires they never even actually review asking me my entire health history; first day of my last menstrual period (why do they always act so put out when you don't remember this date? I regularly miss friend's birthdays, why would I commit that date to memory every single month?), family history, and questions about my drug, alcohol, and caffeine consumption. Well this week wrecked my drinking average big time. And because of all the drinking and blacking out and random guys, it seemed like a years worth of living in one week.

That was joke for those who missed it.

Moving on, I think I'll go ahead and remove yesterday's video attachment because about 12 hours after I thought I had found something unique, it was on Good Morning America. It's still fun and exactly what I told my mom I wanted to do years ago if I ever got married (she said no), but having gone viral, you can get it anywhere and I hate looking like a trendy follower.

I'm thinking of getting back on match.com for a supernova moment right before the star burns out completely. I am paid through the beginning of August but have had no presence on the site since May or June. We'll see how desperately boring the weekend becomes. I saw StairMaster for the first time in weeks this morning. He was on his usual intense climb to nowhere, lifting impossible weights over his head. OG is having regular sightings of the resident hot guy and I am having semi-regular sightings of Daryl, our new maintenance guy. He looks and acts exactly like you expect a maintenance guy named Daryl to look and act.

I've also got a prospective stalker who accidentally (I think) let it slip that he looks for me in the morning when I'm out with the dog and walks around where he thinks I might be, looking for me. He repeatedly asked me if I would let him buy me a cheesesteak and told me that I looked "natural" and seemed like a really nice person. I did not press him for an explanation on what about me he found natural. He told me he was afraid to talk to me because he didn't know what he would say and said something about the few times I've seen him on previous walks that implied it wasn't an accident that he was there. He would have been sweet were it not for the admission of clear stalking behavior and a touch of obsession you should not admit to the object of your obsession if you don't want to tempt a restraining order. I've taken care not to walk by his shop since then but yesterday saw him in a place I've never seen him before. Might be time to start carrying the asp. I will beat a mother-fer for real.

New blog friends, I shall be visiting you this weekend and getting acquainted with your fine work and interesting souls.