"It's like getting a bad massage, you know when they rub all over you without really working out any knots? Just leaves you agitated and wanting a good massage even more."
--Ava to friend after date.
I hate that a man I will never be with continues to be my benchmark. Naturally I stalked him down on Facebook (naturally, isn't that what YOU do on Saturday night?). Looks like he's got a kid now in addition to his lovely wife and in Facebook-land couldn't be happier. When I saw his picture, I thought, eh, not really doing it for me. I'm glad I found him because it reminded me that I didn't want him. Though I was primed to, I couldn't begrudge him his apparent happy ending, I just wish I had mine too. It is too much to ask for a toe curling kiss every decade or so? You don't even have to buy me a drink. Just be an excellent kisser. I need a glimmer of hope that I can feel that good again. A consolation prize of sorts. I suspect like most women, I'm wired in a way that makes that nearly impossible without some kind of emotional attachment. Annoying.
*Quotation from one of my Military Training Instructors to our flight. He said this to us so often it became a part of our cadet skit and still resonates with me. Nothing like hearing someone yell that at the top of their lungs. I think every kid should have the experience of being away from home, living like a prisoner, and being yelled at by strangers. So much fun to look back on.
3 comments:
Military life. Always thought I could've been a good soldier. At least in one point in my life. Not a tough soldier mind you; but an eager one. 'Course that's a pretty bold statement to make w/out backing it up in anyway. I suppose I may have had a nervous breakdown too. Probably could've gone 50-50 for me.
I think you'd be a good soldier Lodo, I really do. When gets right down to it, you give me the impression that you move out and get it done.
Well,...your opinion on that matter actually means a great deal to me Ava. So thanks for believing!!!
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