9:17, tank top, underwear, sitting cross-legged in bed with laptop. Not speaking to sister just because I'm tired of seeing her when I come in the door and I'm tired of being the only one who does anything around the house, and tired of smelling her when I follow her too closely in the single bathroom we share, tired of the ridiculous amounts of her hair just about everywhere, tired that she doesn't think on most nights to walk the dog or load the dishwasher. I'm tired of feeling taken advantage of at work, my kindness having been mistaken for weakness or complicity. I hope to find a mature way to handle it because I'm drifting towards aggression that is only passive because I'm not actively hitting someone in the mouth (though my hope is that that my words, deeds, and gestures feel like just that). I got pissed when the dog walker couldn't keep herself in check and had to throw in a word about giving as much advance notice as possible on scheduling weekend visits. Bitch, I understand that advance notice is a desirable state, hence my apology about the short notice. Don't act like you are doing me a favor. Either you are available or you are not. I don't need your attitude.
On my despair.com calendar this month is Sanity and the caption reads; Minds are like parachutes, just because you've lost yours, doesn't mean you can borrow mine. I think I've accidentally offered my parachute to someone.
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